Three Things You Can Do Right Now To Become A Better Spouse

February 3, 2012
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I am thoroughly enjoying this book that I am reading. I wholeheartedly recommend it to married and singles alike.

I love the way in which the author puts front and center the centrality of the gospel within marriage. Every single page is filled with valuable wisdom. Here are just three things that come from the book which can literally transform your marriage:

 1. Observe God’s work in your spouse. 

Each spouse should see the great thing that Jesus is doing in the life of their mate through the Word, the gospel. Each spouse then should give him- or herself to be a vehicle for that work and envision the day that you will stand together before God, seeing each other presented in spotless beauty and glory.

2. Delight in Jesus more than in your spouse

On the cross, Jesus did not look down on us with a heart full of admiration and affection. He felt no “chemistry.” But he gave himself. He put our needs ahead of his own; he sacrificed for us. But the Bible tells spouses not only to imitate the quality and manner of Christ’s love but also the goal of it. Jesus died not because we were lovely, but to make us lovely. He died, Paul says, to “make us holy.” Paradoxically, this means Paul is urging spouses to help their mates love Jesus more than them. It’s a paradox but not a contradiction.

3. Prioritize your relationship with your spouse above all others

When you marry your spouse, that must supersede all other relationships, even the parental relationship. Your spouse and your marriage must be the number one priority in your life.” Your marriage must be more important to you than anything else. No other human being should get more of your love, energy, industry, and commitment than your spouse. God asks that a man leave his father and mother, as powerful as that relationship may have been, to forge a new union that must be an even more important and powerful force in his life.

Question: How do you think your role as a spouse (or future spouse) changes when you look at marriage through a gospel lens?

Bogdan Kipko

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Founder & Pastor of Forward Church In Irvine, CA & host of the Fuel For Life Podcast which is listened to in 50 states & 118 countries. Join the FFL nation!