Four Ways I Process Pain When People Wound Me Deeply


One of the most honest things you can tell people is that you will sin against them.¬†Because of our brokenness, we will fall prey to the flesh. If you don’t persuade your will with the gospel, something else will. And therein lies the problem of many conflicts we experience. But there is hope. Here are four proper ways to process wounds made by people:

1. Realize Your Depravity. We need to understand that before Jesus saved us, we hated God. We wanted nothing to do with Him. So when people hurt or wound us, it is painful but it should not be surprising. Not too long ago, we were with the¬†angry¬†crowd yelling “crucify Him,” instead of “come to Him.” The more you realize the depth of your depravity, the more you will be satisfied with the gospel.

When we begin our relationships not by putting people on a pedestal but rather seeing another human being who will sin against you Рit changes our entire perspective of how we will handle issues and conflicts.

2. Remember The Cross. Every time someone wounds you, remember the Cross. We are often surprised why people who are the closest to us, can cause the most damage to us.

Jesus spent over three years with Judas, yet he betrayed Jesus even after having many dinners with him.

We are often upset when people misunderstand us. Jesus’ disciples constantly¬†misinterpreted¬†what He was saying to them. They argued about who was greatest among them, all the while¬†oblivious¬†of the looming cross upon which our salvation would be wrought.

We often don’t understand how people who were so close to us, can hurt us so much. But when we look to Scripture, there are stories of similar events. Just think of the pain that King David went through when his third born son Absalom¬†rebelled¬†against him. Jesus Himself said that in this world, you will experience tribulation.

But behold, Jesus has overcome all. This is why He will get you through what you are going through.

3. Resemble Your Savior. Jesus said greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends (Jn. 15:13). We were at one time foes of God and through Jesus, we become friends with God.

How do we process wounds made by people?

We resemble Jesus by casting our cares and anxieties upon Him.

We pour our heart out to Jesus, instead of pouring out our discontent upon another person.

We realize that no matter how much we have suffered, how much we have been¬†wronged, how much we have been maligned, how much we have been criticized, how much we have been¬†misinterpreted, how much we have been misunderstood – we don’t even come close to¬†experiencing what Jesus experienced – on our behalf – for our sake.

Use every wound as an opportunity for the advancement of the gospel. Press into Christ and He will continue to pour out His Spirit unto you.

4. Release The Grace. Because we know people will sin against us, we need to be grace releasers. Seriously. The Bible reminds us that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us (Rom. 5:6).

[Tweet “Forgiven people, forgive people. “]


The amount of debt that Jesus forgave us is in no match to the amount of sin people could have committed against us. Yes it is painful. Yes it is uncomfortable. Yes it is unfair. But it is not insurmountable.

As Christians, we need to be grace releasers and not grace-hoarders. Freely it was given unto us and freely give it unto other people.

When you refuse to forgive another person, you are drinking poison and wishing for the other person to die.

When you refuse to¬†forgive¬†people, you are¬†consciously¬†declaring that Jesus’ death on the cross was not sufficient to forgive the person that supposedly hurt you.

When we refuse to forgive people, we become blind guides who have forgotten that the supernatural salve has cleansed our eyes in order to see people who need grace.

Being a Christian is first and foremost being like Jesus. It means seeking the things that are above. Seeking things that perpetuate reconciliation. Seeking things that further love and unity. Seeking things that will honor our fellow brother and sister. Seek out the Great Physician and allow Him to heal your wounds.

[Tweet “Our wounds may be great, but we have an even greater Savior. “]

Because the most painful part of your biography, may very well become the most powerful part of your testimony.

Question: How do we look to Jesus to receive hope and healing, which only He can provide? 


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *