Twenty Things People In Their Twenties Should Stop Doing

I love young people. But as a pastor, it pains me to see so many individuals who are in their twenties doing what they shouldn’t. The foundation you build in your twenties will define the rest of your life. The Bible urges you to become a master builder (1 Cor. 3:10). Therefore, if you are in your twenties or anywhere around that vicinity, here are twenty things you should stop doing:

Before you continue, please watch this video: 

[tentblogger-youtube OW1NAGvC0gM]

1. Playing Video Games. Playing video games is absolutely useless. There is nothing redemptive about it. They do not teach you anything except how to waste time and not do real work. I would strongly suggest you either throw them away or sell them on Craigslist. You will be glad you did.

2. Dating. If you have no intention of marrying the person you are dating, you should stop dating. Today. If you are living together, taking vacations together and seeing each other every day but have no wedding date set, you should part ways and consider the severe danger you have put yourself in.

3. Sleeping In. People who change the world are the ones who awoke before the rest of the world. Get into a healthy routine that will enable you to go to sleep and awake at a decent hour. Contrary to popular opinion, you won’t be thought of as awesome because you are able to stay up for two straight days.

4. Thinking You Know Everything. You don’t. I know this is a harsh reality because I also experienced it. I am not saying here that seniority necessarily equals maturity. But there are things out there that you just don’t know. That is ok. Listen more. Chew the meat. Spit out the bones.

5. Dreaming Too Small. If your dreams don’t scare you, your dreams are too small. God created us to do far greater things than we actually attempt. Twenty years from now, you will regret more of what you didn’t attempt rather than those things that you actually did.

6. Dreaming Too Big. Don’t dream so big that you are setting yourself up for a personal meltdown. Here is the real truth: most likely, you won’t appear on America Idol, you won’t get chosen to get onto Shark Tank and you won’t go viral. But guess what? That is totally ok. Who you are becoming, is more important than what you are accomplishing.

7. Setting Unrealistic Goals. In your twenties, you think you can take over the world. Never ever lose that stamina. But at the same time, set realistic goals for yourself. If by age twenty-five you have had no success in the Nashville music scene or the LA movie scene, I am not sure you will become the next Ben Affleck, Jennifer Anniston, Lecrae, Kate Perry or fill in the blank.

8. Looking For Approval. Everyone around you does not have to approve of you. Yes, validation is satisfying. But this should not be your end goal. The quickest way to frustration is trying to please everyone. Some people will like you. Some people will dislike you. No problem. Keep doing what you were called to do.

9. Comparing Yourself To Others. Don’t compare your behind the scenes to someone else’s highlight reel. You are unique. You are God’s best – not something He created after He was done with the rest. Be content with what you have. Be faithful in small. Complete others, instead of competing with others.

10. Buying Stuff. Don’t buy stuff you don’t need, with money you don’t have, to try to impress the people you don’t like. Simple.

11. Letting Others Predict A Future They Don’t Control. Don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t accomplish your wildest dreams. The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, usually do. Make sure you tune out the false prophets from your life.

12. Waiting For Others To Tell You What To Do. Don’t wait to be asked what to do. Initiate what needs to get done. Don’t wait to get chosen. Pick yourself. Don’t settle for the status quo but rather create that which the status quo is.

13. Getting Arrested. If you get a felony in your twenties, every application you fill out for employment will ask you to put that on there. Unless you are planning to be an entrepreneur and hire yourself – why would you ever taint your reputation with this avoidable event?

14. Being Selfish. Generosity is the new currency. Don’t just jump onto the bandwagon of your parents tithes and offerings. Give of what you earn. Be generous with your time, your talents and your energy. Give more. Ask for less. You won’t get much, until you start to give much.

15. Doing Work That Is Mediocre. Some of you don’t need a better job. You just need to do the job you have, better. Quit asking when your break is, when your lunch is or when you are off while you are at work. Focus on being amazing – regardless of how un-exciting your job is. If you can’t serve tables, make a cup of coffee or sell shoes – what makes you think you will excel at leading a huge organization?

16. Being Lazy. Be the leader. Take initiative. Do the hard work. Show up early. Leave late. Don’t worry about who gets the credit.

17. Shifting Blame Unto Others. The problem with your life is not your parents, your friends, your house, your income level, your zip code, your socio-economic status, the year you were born or the country you were born in. There are plenty of examples of people who beat all the odds. The only person you have to blame is the one you see in the mirror every day – because no one in your life is more influential than you.

18. Church Hopping. Visit others churches to check them out and see how they do things. But commit to one local church and devote your time to serve it. There is no other organization in the entire world that will help you mature and prosper more than a local church with solid pastors. Here is the thing: The church will survive without you, but you won’t be able to survive without the church. Stop the hop and bloom where you are planted.

19. Being Too Busy. It is very easy to be busy. But being busy doesn’t equal being productive or even effective. Work smarter, not harder. Don’t use the fact that you are busy as an excuse to not help your friends, be involved in your church or assist the people in your life who are in need.

20. Taking Yourself Too Seriously. Relax. Your life is not over. Don’t take yourself too seriously. Learn to laugh at yourself. Most people are not talking about you, I promise. When you walk into a room, most people are not looking at you, I promise. Poke some fun at yourself and don’t get offended when others do the same. You will be more human that way.

*One Additional Bonus Point For Free: Stop Living With Your Parents. If you get married, find a way to live on your own. Do not live with your parents. Even if you think it makes financial sense, it makes no relational sense. And that is a lot more important. Do what you can to get your own place, no matter what.

In less than two months, I will be exiting my twenties forever. The above list comes from someone who has made many mistakes, has a heart for young people, but wishes that you will take note and not repeat the same mistakes. Except the video game mistake. I owned an old school Sega once. But it was collecting dust more than half a decade before I ever even entered my twenties.

If you found this post helpful, please share it with your social network. 

Question: What else would you add to this list that people in their twenties should stop doing?


Comments

213 responses to “Twenty Things People In Their Twenties Should Stop Doing”

  1. Excellent points! Congrats on leaving your 20’s soon!!!
    Bonus point for free really made my day 🙂

    1. Haha thanks! 🙂

  2. Good one. I think more than half of them apply to other ages too.

  3. Why are we limiting this to people in their 20s? I see a lot of people in their 30s and 40s doing many of the things on this list! Great list Bogdan! Are you really still in your 20’s?

    1. Thanks Caleb and I agree, this list extends far beyond people in their twenties! Yes, I have less than two months left to claim that I am in my twenties 🙂

    2. I would like to point out that this article mainly applies to the Eastern European community in the U.S because what the author talks about is how Eastern European people act who have lived in the U.S a long time. If you take the time to go outside your cultural bubble and actually interact with American culture you will see that people in their 20s are very different from Eastern European people in their 20s or other age groups for that matter. The stance the author makes and his opinion is further evidence of this as well.

      1. Irina hi – thanks for stopping by and commenting. I think your comment could not be farther from reality. This post applies to most communities – America, European, etc. I know hundreds of people who agree with everything said in this post and they don’t have a European background at all. I don’t live in Sacramento or Seattle – I reside in Orange County, California – which is no cultural bubble for Slavic people.

        I also joke around with my American friends that I am more American than most Americans. I went through the entire educational system here in the US, I pastor a predominantly English congregation where everyone speaks English 90% of the time and have many American friends – because we have integrated and assimilated into the culture in which we live in. I personally speak English 80% of the time. I have many friends who were born in the US and don’t have a European back ground 🙂

        Although I do speak Russian and was born in Russia, what is said in this post has nothing to do with my European roots.

        All I do is interact with America culture 🙂

        Blessings to you!

        1. I immigrated from Russia in the last 10 years and I am in my late thirties and in my opinion all I see is Eastern Europeans who grew up in U.S who go to churches where they are all immigrants but mostly distantly removed since they grew up here but think they have some place to tell people how to live. This is just my opinion. I’m happy 30 is a big year for you. Maybe when you approach your 40s you can write a list of things 30 year olds should or should not do like tell people how to live.

      2. I see this kind of comment on posts all the time. “Get outside your bubble.” I married as an American into a European family and have traveled to every continent except Antarctica (1st and 3rd world alike). So far I have been to 38 countries. But how many people does one need to interact with, or how many countries does one have to visit before they don’t live in a “bubble” anymore? I think a ton of this doesn’t apply to me, but I could name a ton of purely 100% American people that this applies to greatly. I know we have an obsession nowadays with blogging everything despite the fact that we’re still young and never received writing degrees, but a lot of this is good stuff to at least think about. I never got any remote vibe that the writer was unaware of how the average American lives. Some people across the pond think we all live like what they watch on reality television shows, but this guy seems to understand a ton of people I currently live around.

  4. I don’t agree with #1. If we should stop playing video games then we should stop watching movies, tv shows, documentaries, etc. because a lot of games are basically a movie that you control. It’s a story. And some games could make one heck of a movie. Video games have made me bond very well with my brothers and dad.

    Also #6 & #7 you tell people they can’t dream big, but #11 you say don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t accomplished your wildest dreams. Hmm.

    1. I completely agree, there are definitely some problematic points here. As a female gamer who currently works in Undergraduate Admission at a top tier university in Massachusetts, I’ve personally seen how gaming develops intra- and interpersonal skills. Of course, I think you’d rather have me back up what I say and I encourage you to read this article here:

      http://website.education.wisc.edu/kdsquire/tenure-files/23-pdk-VideoGamesAndFutureOfLearning.pdf

      Overall, while there are some good points to this blog it seems haphazard and there are multiple contradictory points. I personally think watching this TEDtalk is a good way of promoting personal and professional goals:

      http://www.ted.com/talks/meg_jay_why_30_is_not_the_new_20.html

      1. Love your comment. I totally agree with what you’re saying about gaming in your comment, event though I am not a gamer, I have read countless articles and studies that show gaming in moderation promotes brain growth. I think it’s interesting how people can make statements about somthing that they have no real scientific knowledge of. I think it’s important to first do your reasearch before making certain statements that are largely based on opinion. More importantly, we all have opinions but it does not give us a right to them impose them on others and say that this is how other people should live. Especially, since one of the points that the author makes himself is that we should not worry about the opinions of others. Contradiction?

        There are some good points in this article, but they do seem to contradict each other. Not sure how healthy dating is a bad things as it is how you ultimately find your husband/wife, or how the writer of the article first writes don’t dream to big and stay realist, but them continues to promote never giving up on your wildest dreams???

    2. Video games are a complete waste.. It also destroys your psyche over time. Movies and TV are for the most part useless as well even though you can learn history, moral, ect something you will most likely not get from a video game. People that don’t play video games are in general more successful.

      1. I agree – but again, there are people with a different viewpoint and that is completely ok. This is my opinion, posted on a personal blog. If you did not like the opinion about which I posted, I promise a 100% refund of what you paid to read it 🙂

      2. Where is the research behind this study?

      3. So you want people to sit at home all day and do nothing? Got it.

        Oh and btw, I know a lot of gamers, myself included. None of us have done nothing with our lives. I went, and graduated mind you, from UPenn, and being a gamer never held me back from school and doing well. Got my law degree from George Washington, and now hold a spot with a well known Law Firm in the DC area. Still gaming. Yet I make more money than you will.

    3. Mike Fam Avatar
      Mike Fam

      First he says dont dream too big then he says dont let anyone tell you not to dream your wildest dreams. Was martin luther king under 25 when he made the difference with HIS dream? And i dont want to hear this “generally” term anymore. If everyone thought of themselves as just GENERAL, then NOBODY would make a difference and we would all be mindless drones much like a lot of the world already is. I’m 24 years old and I have a big dream that im not going to give up on just because i turn 25. Its people who think like this that follow up and make their dreams come true and make a difference. Take my opinion how you want, but GENERALLY people who only
      think with the attitude of giving up are the ones who dont amount and end up giving up their passion. That will not be me, rest assured.

      1.  Avatar
        Anonymous

        I COMPLETELY agree. This world needs more big dreamers!!!!!!!!!!

      2. I COMPLETELY agree. This world needs more big dreamers!!!!!!!!!!

  5. The video game industry is one of the largest industries in the world, they teach a lot of stuff to a lot of people. Saying that they’re useless and teach people nothing is absolutely ludicrous.. Growing up playing video games, inspired me as a video game artist, if it weren’t for my background in playing them as a child, through my teens, and now into my mid-twenties, it has allowed me to create the awesome life-style I’m currently living, and I’ve had this great job for over 7 years now, and I’m only 26. If it weren’t for the people playing video games, I would be out of a job. I suppose people shouldn’t play baseball either, if there’s no real future for them..

    1. Adam hi – would you agree that generally speaking that is not what happens to most people?

      1. Of course, but generally speaking, that’s the case for any occupation.

        1. Very true – but I do hope the point I was trying to make was clear – in that there is little redemptive value in video games.

          1. The same could also be argued in movies, and TV, going to sporting events, going to concerts.. It’s recreational.. Everyone is allowed their free time, and it all roughly adds up the same.

          2. For every new narrative form there have been detractors whining about how “useless” and “wasteful” these media are. Fortunately, these voices are slowly forgotten as the new medium develops into a more widely-appreciated form. Plays, serials, novels, television, film, video games. It’s a rather predictable and natural progression.

            It’s somewhat arrogant to assume you have some sort of authority to completely disregard any narrative form, especially one of the most exciting and revolutionary narrative forms currently available. Video games are changing the way we tell stories and interact with both each other and the world.

            Plus, they’re fun. Play and culture go hand in hand, and the object of play is generally intimately tied to the culture from which it emerges.

          3. I agree with Josh on this. This is just an ignorant view on video games. 🙂 “I don’t see any redemptive value in video games, so that means there is none! Stop playing games on screens!”

          4. Im going to have to disagree with your view point here, video games have a ton of redemptive value. A friend of mine has an 18 year old son with IED and bipolar disorder. He is quite often a very angry young man. Recently, his therapist suggested that him and his father sit down and play a game name minecraft together each night. The quality time and focus in the game has calmed his anger down greatly. From a child who would be in trouble daily, he has had a maximum of 3 outburts in the past month! Secondly, video games provide hand eye coordination, You obviously have a biased opinion that you are blinded by, but please do some research before writing some more dribble. Here I’ll even help you out:

            http://www.huffingtonpost.com/catriona-wallis/video-games-are-teaching-our-kids_b_4209621.html
            http://www.forbes.com/sites/jordanshapiro/2013/11/27/4-reasons-video-games-are-good-for-your-health-according-to-american-psychological-association/
            http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2513832/Study-finds-video-games-good-mental-health.html

          5. Lizz – great links thank you! I agree with what you are saying – but would you agree that generally this is not what happens? Either way, thank you for the testimony – very powerful and a lot for me to think about.

          6. I personally think watching sports is a complete waste of time, and so does my husband. I truly believe in your words that there is “no redemptive value in them.” I’m not even being facetious here, I’m very serious. I would rather have someone play a video game than see millions of dollars go to people throwing around a football while people watching scream at a television set. The whole idea of watching sports is ridiculous to my me and my husband. But I also know that it’s just a personal opinion. I’m glad you’re not getting mad at anyone and are responding well, but there are actually benefits to video games, and I’m speaking as a physician. There are multiple studies you can see on the NCBI database that show great improvement in hand-eye coordination, and it can work as a great stress relief. What is bad is an ADDICTION to video games. Huge difference. I know one person that literally plays video games for six or seven hours of his day, and has lost a job because of it. But most people I know of, including my own preacher father (and he’s in his late 60s haha), do it after a tough day of work. Some people like television shows, others like video games. I respect your opinion, of course, but please understand that a ton of people are going to disagree with it (not like I think you mind that much). But I’ve learned to not mention my hatred of sports to other people, because I understand that a ton of people like it. I think it is a complete waste of time watching them, but maybe you personally like it.

          7. Whatever helps you decompress at the end of the day is not worthless. You seem to try to clarify your stance by saying they’re “generally” worthless, which is also untrue. Research has been exploring the possibility that playing video games can actually benefit children by bolstering learning and problem solving.

    2. You guys are taking his comment to an extreme… The video games aren’t the issue, it’s the amount of time young people spend on them.

      If they were ALSO successful, that would be another story. But if you’re like me and are around young people often, you see that so many are playing a TON of video games AT THE EXPENSE of pursuing a future in ANYTHING. This is very common.

      Sure, this can apply a bit to movies, etc, but video games are unique in that they require your full engagement, and they don’t end after 90mins.

      The big idea I think Bogdan is going for in this post: spend your time on worthwhile things. And, when you do, go relax and unwind with some MarioKart64 as a reward for your hard work.

      1. lufe2227 Avatar
        lufe2227

        Nope, actually you read it and it says sell them. They’re worthless. I would say THAT is taking it to the extreme. Extreme as in “There is nothing of inherent value in anything unless it was listed in my book of fairy tales from 1400 years ago.” Happy some one can have faith, but it doesn’t give some one the right to pass judgements. After all, Pastors teach the word, not speak them as prophets. This post is essentially an exemplification of all things wrong with religion. Religion is not all wrong, to be clear. This market on morality and self righteousness is, though.

  6.  Avatar
    Anonymous

    Awesome post!

  7. Robert Patterson Avatar
    Robert Patterson

    I think saying something is a total waste is adding to the types of extremists views that Christians are getting a bad rap for.

    People can eat a pizza, play a game, or read crap fiction in moderation and shouldn’t be made to feel bad for it – I’d question why you have an all or nothing mentality, and if it’s not just how you view the world – especially the comment about your sega, sounds very self righteous

    1.  Avatar
      Anonymous

      That’s exactly correct this is an extreme view! smh

  8. seems hyper critical and concerns itself more with the appearance of such 20 year olds rather than the circumstances of the 20 year old itself. also, though I don’t play games, what gives anyone the right to say stop? who gave you the power to declare “this” redemptive work and “that” not? I despise these posts simply because they’re hyper judgement all rather than focused on pointing young ppl to king Jesus. thanks.

    1. Amen!!!

      1. Parkhotyuk Avatar
        Parkhotyuk

        Girl turn judgmental into repentful, this post I belive will HELP answer those who were truly seeking an answer (From this Christian authors perspective/wise advice). Don’t let your mind justify your conscience, the blood of Jesus is the only sacrifice that can make you right.

        sometimes we kill thinking were doing it for God..

  9. GCS SINGH Avatar
    GCS SINGH

    Dear brother really amazing and very important to young people.Even very encourage to all even to me.Thank you so much.

  10. I’m am currently a college student enrolled in a Video Game Design and Development program and while reading through this list, although my opinion varied on your points, there was obviously one point that I clearly disagreed with. Now rather than say your wrong for this I can kind of understand where you might be coming from. So I would like to give you list of video games that I’ve played or heard of that I think that you might enjoy and/or possibly change your opinion on the medium. I can’t force you to play or enjoy any of these; I merely am giving you this list in the hopes you might learn something new or find something new to enjoy. I’ve also provided a link to wonderful website where some of these games can be purchased and a video highlighting some of the good video games and gamers do.

    Website: https://www.humblebundle.com/store
    Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=183_K4KfrP0
    Games:
    – Thomas Was Alone
    – Papo & Yo
    – Papers, Please
    – Journey
    – Flower
    – Bioshock
    – Bioshock Infinite
    – The Walking Dead
    – League of Legends
    – Dust: An Elysian Tail

    1.  Avatar
      Anonymous

      what a waste of time and money!!! Video games are for Losers, Get a clue, Get a life !!!

    2. Hi Ryan, I will have to check them out – thank you for the links!

      1. I think Ryan put forth a really solid list. I don’t play video games often these days, but one I would like to add is “Red Dead Redemption.”

        The time I spent roaming the plains with the protagonist moved me from an initial dislike of the character, to feeling the closest bond with any character out of literature I’ve ever experienced.

        I think that as a scholar of scripture, you might be quite adept at appreciating the narrative value of video games as a storytelling platform. I’m no longer a person of faith, but I’ve learned to really enjoy the poetry and prose of the Bible, as well as the nuances that careful exegesis can uncover. For example, I find the two creation stories in Genesis to be absolutely beautiful, especially after spending more time working through them and gaining a better understanding of the audiences each addressed. Just because I disagree with you on the overall significance of these stories doesn’t mean I will discredit their beauty and worth.

    3. Just commenting to say that bioshock and bioshock infinite are amazing games. They are my absolute favorite. And their stories are incredible.

  11. Hope Foxmann Avatar
    Hope Foxmann

    I want to address those who disagree with some of what was written. I first, want to thank those of you who respectfully shared your viewpoint, despite the fact that it may have differed from the original content and many of the corresponding comments. I believe our ability to make choices, form opinions, commit to beliefs, and go through life in the manner we select, is one of the most fascinating facets of humanity. Our agency, or ability to choose, is one of the greatest gifts we have received. With that said, I think that this post is meant to be read with an open and self-evaluating mind.

    In regards to video games, my natural reaction is to completely agree with Bogdan. I too often see many spending much of their time and energy playing video games, when they have other responsibilities awaiting them. I have been the ignored girlfriend, stranded sister, waiting child, who has had to share my loved ones with their higher priority: video games. I admit, that not all video game players are this extreme and I agree with you, ADAM, that there various other things that can also have the same effect as video games. Video games just happen to be one of the main overused outlets. Despite my negative experiences with video games, I have also had positive ones. I enjoy playing Guitar Hero, Mario, ect. with my family members. Some positive memories have been created playing video games with them. My brother has made a few close friends with people he has met through gaming. Choosing to destress, or use your recreation time to play video games is not a bad thing, as long as balance is maintained. Played wisely and in a controllable fashion, I do not think that video games are all negative. Unfortunately, this control is not always present, and gaming often begins to become a higher and higher priority to the gamer, while other items of importance are overlooked or forgotten. I think this is what Bogdan was trying to get at.

    Also, regarding the goals/dreams thing: this is a summary of what I interpreted: dream big! Accomplish things! Don’t just ease your way through life. WIth big dreams, comes lots of sub-goals and countless hours of hard work. Most of us are not willing to put in the time needed to achieve such a lofty endeavor. Also, goal-setting where other people and their agency (ability to choose) is involved, can prove to be dangerous as we cannot control other peoples actions.

    And, ROBERT PATTERSON, I agree with your use of the word “moderation.” Most things, when enjoyed moderately, can be great! I wanted to also briefly touch on your comment about extremist Christian views. As Christians we love others, celebrate diversity, and thrive on the different elements and talents we each possess that we can puzzle together as a team, to serve those around us and our Christ. There are however, our basic truths that can’t be abandoned, despite popular opinion or politics. Just as there are well known legal laws and regulations that protect us from those who commit crimes, etc., there are also those from a higher power, that are in place to help us reach our full potential and protect the safety of our souls. We respect others and their right to their opinions. We love them. A LOT! We stand firm in our faith.

    Wow, sorry that was long!

    I truly enjoyed this post and agreed with the 20 key points. I am currently in my twenties and could not have written this better myself. Thank you Bogdan. This has gotten my wheels of self-improvement turning.

  12. A lot of these points were common sense “Don’t Get Arrested.” Um, duh? On the other hand, I disagree with almost all of this list.

    1. Video games are useless? I whole-heartedly disagree. Ever heard of strategy games? Chess? Magic? Poker? All of these games, whether playing on a console, a board, or with cards all require an enormous amount of strategical thinking to outwit your opponent. Exercising and challenging your brain (which studies have shown if done throughout your life, it greatly reduces your chances of getting alzheimer’s) is anything but useless.

    2. Dating. People simply do not share the same views you do. Some individuals do not want to marry and that is their choice. Who cares what they decide to do with their intimate life?

    3. Sleeping in. Waking up early makes you a better person? That is simply a myth. People sleep according to their work schedules. Now, if they consistently have a free schedule and sleep in with no intent of doing anything productive,you might have a point.

    4. Thinking you know everything. You should follow your own advice here…

    And the next 3 points were totally contradictary, people can dream as big as they want, its the steps they take towards that goal is what makes them successful. After I read the first few points, I skimmed through the rest — no surprise, they follow the same pattern of ill-advice besides the obvious kind hearted points (don’t be selfish, blame others, etc.). But man, the first few points were definitely not catch phrases by any means.

    1.  Avatar
      Anonymous

      Amen!

    2. Where did he say that “waking up early makes you a better person”?

      Again, people exaggerating the heart of what he’s saying. All these guys who’re in their young 20’s are acting like they did when they were 14: staying up all night, wasting their time on video games, waking up at 1pm… Instead of their relaxation being a reward for their hard work, they just live entitled, as it the way they live now has no consequence on their future…

  13. Did The Lord tell you to judge how people live their lives?

    1. He is a pastor so the Lord told him to instruct people how to live their life. That includes judging those who do not live it the right way. If you feel judged by this post, it is a good thing, most likely it applies to you in one way or another.

      1. God isn’t real you idiot. Nobody told this douche what to say, he’s just being judge mental for no reason.

  14. Anastasia Avatar
    Anastasia

    Nice advice. Guys, calm down. He is simply sharing things to look out for and trying to be helpful in giving advice. Not every bullet point may apply to you, but there is probably room for improvement in one or more of these areas for all of you.

    1.  Avatar
      Anonymous

      none of it applies…

  15. A large amount of ignorance is displayed in this work. Thats not to say the man is stupid(for those unaware of what ignorance means) only that he doesn’t seem to realize that nothing he believes is actually knowledge. He is clearly unaware of this as he tells people things they shouldn’t do while also telling them they shouldn’t believe they know everything. With the variety of things this man claims to know that people shouldn’t do, most would say he himself more than likely believes he knows everything.

    1. For starters he knows more then you. Most likely more successful then you as well. Take your negativity elsewhere. He makes great points and what he means is set realistic goals and dreams. If you are in the 20s, as I am, you would understand what he is talking about unless your mentally disturbed in one way or another…

      1.  Avatar
        Anonymous

        You mean more THAN?

      2. More successful? He’s a freaking pastor for a fictional book. All he has is a judging mind and feels the need to play god.

  16. Video games are beneficial in more ways than every person who has commented could share. Yes, I did mean every one of us combined. Surprised he didn’t mention to stop drinking alcohol for fun with the intention of getting drunk and/or smoking/doing drugs (actual problems).

  17. The Other Guy Avatar
    The Other Guy

    Throwing my 2 cents in as a 20 something male, I understand that the bluntness of this list to is cause people to think about why they do what they do and to point people (I hope, because you are a pastor) to God, who sustains them, gives them eternal life, and died for their sakes.

    I noticed video games was a hot topic (gamers are on the internet and you posted this on the internet, so this is to be expected). I read this as someone who enjoys playing games and my first thought was, “don’t tell me what to do, let me be me.”
    But if I’m a Christian, the LEAST I can do is respect your authority as a leader of the church to check into WHY you would put a list of DO NOTS up here (reads a little like the ten commandments of 20 year olds, huh?)

    In light of that, I would speak, regarding solely the outcries of video gamers, for 1) the potential harms of games to be pointed out and 2) the harmful effects of addiction to be pointed out.
    1) Because the fact of the matter is that games can make a person isolated, or they can bring people together. One of those allows for a potential fellowship, the other doesn’t. Games can waste your time, or can be a thing of leisure to enjoy (see movies, etc.) Are you wasting your time? Do you find that you have things you “need to take care of,” but can’t? If so, this should be a red light. etc. <- these would be examples to address #1

    2) Because addiction to ANYTHING is unhealthy and brings people away from Jesus who is a spring that never runs dry. Finding need in anything other than the Lord is a sin. Granted, some people reading this may have absolutely no care about whether they are Biblically sinning or not, and that's their choice. In Christ's death and resurrection, sin has no power over me when I abide in the Lord which means the chains of addiction do not have to have power over me. However, I crawl into old habits from time to time, neglecting God and caring more about myself. In His grace, I am drawn back in often sooner than later. If smoking, or sexual pleasure, or ENTERTAINMENT is more important than the One who can redeem sins, then you will reap what you sow. As one culturally relevant band wrote, "where you invest your love, you invest your life." What we long for, what/who we desire show a lot about our priorities. We need to reflect on that more often.

    That's my novel. Thanks for reading the rant and have a great day!

  18.  Avatar
    Anonymous

    “Don’t dream too small.”

    “Don’t dream too big.”

    Uhhh…

  19.  Avatar
    Anonymous

    I’m 24 and I’m a big fan of learning and following the examples of my personal mentor who is a pastor, and so I’ve gotten a majority of these from him! And even still – life continues to strike us with lessons (regardless of our age) or what I like to call convictions and therefore, I have found #9 “Comparing myself to others” something I’ve needed to work on for some time and yes – my mentor has pointed this out on more than several occasions! LoL I will not pinpoint too much of why that is so but the other one that struck me big time was #19 “Being too Busy.” Sure, I find myself wrapped up in projects that take hours (if not days/weeks to complete) and so I had found that it’s taken a toll on my health and my dreams.

    I didn’t even want to read the comments on video games but every point you had made, I have personally experienced here or there in my life and I’m very glad that someone actually sat down to write these all out!

    You did a great job, and I’m thrilled to know we continue to have pastors/leaders with a heart for the younger generation. As long as the pastors/leaders/mentors do not empower the younger generation and help make clearer paths for their dream to come true, I believe the generation will have greater faith (at least in the beginning – as their foundation) in completing their tasks of what they believe God had called them to be!

    Again, great an amazing article! Blessings to you!!!!!!!

    1.  Avatar
      Anonymous

      You’re brainwashed :/

  20.  Avatar
    Anonymous

    This post was AWESOME! All you dumbasses making stupid comments are simply DUMB! Don’t like this post – GO ELSEWHERE! So irritating….

    1. Hi – please let’s keep discussion civil with no name-calling or profanity – we can disagree agreeably and we can have an entirely different opinion. I don’t have to agree with you, to be friends with you 🙂 Glad you found the post useful.

  21. First step to overcoming an addiction is to admit you have a problem. How is it that those who don’t play video games can see the issue behind them and those who do play video games claim that this article is ludicrous?

    Clearly there is guilt/blame shifting going on here.

    I would say video games (among a few other things) are one of the top reasons men don’t act like men any longer but rather act like children.

    Thank God my fiancé feels the same way. No video games in our household.

    1.  Avatar
      Anonymous

      enjoy Alzheimers

    2.  Avatar
      Anonymous

      Good job on being ignorant

    3.  Avatar
      Anonymous

      I feel sorry for you. Video games is how a lot of people (with social anxieties) have friends. The fact that you choose to think of it as a way to de-evolve men is a clear sign of how “intelligent” you are.

    4. Great, glad to hear that Sarah – I agree with what you are saying.

  22.  Avatar
    Anonymous

    To all the people saying this post is great…
    1.Just because he is a pastor doesn’t make him know what is right and what is wrong
    2.The only advice that we can all take in from this is “Don’t think you know everything” and you all seem pretty ignorant. If you have experienced a lot outside of your church you would definitely know this is not practical and befitting of our generation at all
    3. Don’t force what you think is correct when you’re not even from the generation of twenty year old people. Never force your views on anybody they can live however they want it isn’t up to you or God.
    4. Please go out and think outside of the box of a church, go explore and go educate yourself by actually talking to people outside of your already existing social group
    5. The hot topic about video games, if you haven’t read about it increasing your brain’s reaction speed then please refer to number 2 and 4, If you’re arguing about being addicted well you must realize it’s an age where it’s an integral part of our lives to use technology and gaming is part of that.

  23. Some Things People Who Blog Should Stop Doing:
    1. Pretending they know everything (*sniff sniff* smells like #4 on your list..)
    2. Making ignorant assumptions based on misunderstandings and unfamiliarity with a subject (I assure you, there is a rich, artful, and academic world within video games that you have single-handedly glossed over with your ungenerous encapsulation)
    3. Perpetuating pretentious self-righteous material that exalts the author’s so-called “knowledge” and denigrates others with dissimilar experiences
    4. Blogging farcical matter in general

    Understand that human experience is relative, and while there are time-tested principles that guide moral judgment, you cannot superimpose your perception of “character” and “agency” on another, as you have fundamentally removed them.
    If you would like to actually contribute something constructive, why not discuss how we can better understand and accept each other? Surely you should know the world is an incredible and diverse place. It is playground of multiplicity, assorted tastes and talents. I may not understand my neighbor, but I can appreciate difference instead of denigrating that which I cannot comprehend from my own limited perspective.
    Dream big? Your judgment is too small.

    1. Nina hi – if you search through my blog, you will see that a majority of my posts are exactly about how to understand one another, etc. Thanks for stopping by and commenting!

    2.  Avatar
      Anonymous

      THANK YOU. Now I don’t have to leave a comment

  24.  Avatar
    Anonymous

    And this is why I left the church i was tired of watching all these people who preach about forgiveness also condemn the most people.

    1.  Avatar
      Anonymous

      Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only Son of God.
      John 3:18

    2. Exactly my point only god can condemn we cant because in his eyes were all the same were all sinners.

  25.  Avatar
    Anonymous

    This is completely ridiculous.
    I am a 20 something female, married, and have a daughter, and going to college.
    These expectations are completely unrealistic. As far as video games, you clearly couldn’t play one and got frustrated thus deciding they are useless to everyone.
    And your 20’s should be about finding yourself and doing all the things on your list (minus getting arrested I mean duh) like being being in a long term relationship that isn’t going to go into marriage. Marriage is becoming an obsolete institution for the next generation. You don’t need to be married to be committed to each other. If you need “proof” of commitment then you are obviously not secure enough in the relationship to get married. The only reason I did is because it is easier on taxes. But in saying that, breaking up is so much easier than divorce and when people start going out and looking for their soul mate, as you suggest, then there will only be more divorce. That is just sad.
    But all together this whole thing is ridiculous

    1. Hi, when you say this whole thing is ridiculous, what specifically are you referring to?

  26.  Avatar
    Anonymous

    So you’ve never dated your wife before you got married? How would you know what a person is like, if you do not get to meet them and get to know them before you get married. In my opinion, not dating for long enough is one of the main reasons for the high divorce rate.
    Futhermore, while reading your post I’ve found many of your above points to be contradictory, and just as many of the points just go without saying. It is probably good to not get arrested, obviously. Moreover, going to church does not make you a better person, just like sleeping in does not make you a bad person.
    To me it is completely unintelligible why this post of yours is shared on facebook so often.

    1. Hi, anything that is related to dating, I operate out of this framework about which I write in this post, please take a look: http://bit.ly/10ZDhBE

      I agree – going to church does not make you a better person, and I did not say that. The post was shared a lot probably because it resonated with a lot of people and was found helpful. If not, why would people share it with their friends? Either way, God bless you and thank you for sharing your thoughts.

  27.  Avatar
    Anonymous

    1 Timothy 4:12 honestly most people in there 20’s aren’t gonna listen to this stuff! Cause you talk to us as if we don’t know these things and where dumb. Your gonna get a good response from older people and feel good about yourself and that’s it! Leaving people empty because they probably marked off several of these don’t does, and don’t see a way out! Can’t see Jesus in all of this!

    1. My ultimate goal is for people to see Jesus through all that I do – if you found this post helpful, that is awesome. If not, maybe another author can resonate better with more suitable content – either way, thank you for reading and commenting.

  28. Thank you for posting this awesome list. As to your point on video games, I agree. As the mother of two sons, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve entered their rooms to talk with them only to hear, “Wait Mom, I’m in the middle of a battle.” Ugh.

    I do see the wonderful connections they make with friends, but I’m also very concerned with the addictive nature of these games.

    1. Hi Tamara, glad you found the post useful!

    2. Valerie K Avatar
      Valerie K

      Tamera – I also have two sons and I have experienced the exact scenario you described. They are now both in college and two surprising things have happened…1) they have told me they are thankful for the limits I imposed on them as children–they are seeing firsthand, in the dorms, guys who did not have game restrictions. And even better, 2) one son has led 3 internet gaming friends to the Lord. One of them has been faithfully growing for more than a year– both my sons regularly encourage and interact with them. Because of gaming!

      So, as a mom, I really did not like the whole gaming thing…but there have been some real positives that have resulted.

  29. Do you understand how ironic this list is? You make good points, sure, but this list is telling people in their 20s what they should STOP doing, then having rule 12; “Waiting For Others To Tell You What To Do.” Also, you are in your 20s, make this list and have rule 4: “Don’t think you know everything.” Really?

  30.  Avatar
    Anonymous

    I amazes me that you can say video games have no redemptive value and still type this:

    4. Thinking You Know Everything. You don’t. I know this is a harsh reality because I also experienced it. I am not saying here that seniority necessarily equals maturity. But there are things out there that you just don’t know. That is ok. Listen more. Chew the meat. Spit out the bones.

    Video games are a form of entertainment same as any other medium, and like any other medium, means something different to different people. If you don’t like them that’s fine, but to say playing them is a waste of time because you can’t see the point is insulting, and makes you look stupid. You have no right to make assumptions about anyone’s life when you haven’t lived them.

    And while I’m here lets take a look at some people who benefit from playing video games shall we?

    http://www.gamersaloon.com/ is a site that lets you enter cash video game tournaments. First thing I found on Google. I’m sure can see the value of cash, unless you wrote a book for no reason. I know for a fact that there are cash tournaments for a game called League of Legends. I’ve never played it but I do know a Video Game player, from North Korea if I remember correctly, was given a Visa to enter the US because of video games.

    http://www.escapistmagazine.com/ is one of many websites that pays contributors to take about something they’re passionate about, which is video games. One of the contributors, a review by the pseudonym of Yatzee, opened up a bar called a Mana Bar. Mana is a type of magical energy typically found in video games.

    I could go on really, but I doubt you’d listen. Either you’re so closed minded you can’t see how faulty your thinking is, or you’ll just ignore me. It’s possible you even opened with that statement to get traffic, but whatever, I’ve said what I had to.

  31. So don’t dream too small, or too big. Makes a lot of sense

    1. John hi – yes, balance is important 🙂

  32.  Avatar
    Anonymous

    I was expecting to read something important. This isn’t even for people just in their 20’s.

    1. You are right – this list can potentially transcend age groups.

  33. Not to beat a dead horse…but I do think singling out video games was a mistake for this list. Perhaps in your church or area that is the #1 time waster, but it does comes across as an unnecessary attack to those of us who moderately play video games as a means of fun and relaxation. Perhaps a better #1 would be to greatly limit time spent on activities with low redemptive value? I have see plenty of people in their 20s (and 30s and 40s and 50s) obsessively interested in local and national sports teams – spending countless dollars on tickets, trips, paraphernalia, etc. and hours watching games, going to tournaments, and managing fantasy teams. In my area that is much more prevalent than video games and I see just as little redemptive value in that involvement. Of course, that doesn’t mean sports should be eliminated completely!

    This is, of course, your website and you’re free to write any opinion you desire 🙂 but from one God-serving twenty-something to another, you may consider that, when it comes to issues not specifically addressed in the Bible, you should avoid blanket statements and thus boost your credibility. Just a thought 🙂

  34. Brendan Hogan Avatar
    Brendan Hogan

    it should be called “20 things lost members of society who have lived in the last 40 years should have stopped doing”

    I’m 22, and the title is not accurate to the message being sent. There’s a level of maturity involved with the content. Age is in fact just a number, and I’ve met plenty of 40 year olds who could learn something from this as well.

  35.  Avatar
    Anonymous

    Absolutely agree with #10! Great advice for people of all age. One of my favorite quotes from Dave Ramsey!

  36.  Avatar
    Anonymous

    Absolutely agree with #10! Great advise for people of all ages. One of my favorite quotes from Dave Ramsey. Don’t forget to give credit to where credit is due!

    1. I believe its from the book “Fight Club” by Chuck Palahniuk which was later made into the movie Fight Club. David Ramsey and this gentlemen needs to credit their source

      http://hamogela.files.wordpress.com/2013/03/424504_tumblr_mbqquhig0i1qbiv2mo1_5001.jpg

  37. How about not telling people how to live their lives based on your ridiculous prejudices and incorrect world view.
    People shouldn’t date in their 20’s unless you know you’re going to marry? Wow….
    And then you wonder why people dislike Christians.

  38. Antonina Akimov Avatar
    Antonina Akimov

    I don’t agree, these things are something a person is raised with from birth or learns from the family. Sleeping in isn’t a sin. Video games could always be cut down on, but not thrown away. Then how do you think dating works? You date enough people to get to know yourself and who you like. Also church hopping is something others do to find what they like why should you look wrongly upon it? Thats my opinion. Feel free to say no one asked for my two cents but I will be heard non the less. Thank you for your time.

  39. sally may Avatar
    sally may

    Really people? This is all just irrelevant.

  40. #22 Stop giving unsolicited advice. 😉

  41. I’d like to swap out number one with : Stop writing trite, inane, vapid lists of things I say 20 year olds should stop doing. Seriously, tell me what the redemptive value of this list is outside of showing how judgmental and prejudice you are towards another’s recreational activities. You know why people play video games? Recreation. You know why people like recreational time? Because some of us, believe it or not, have MORE than a full time job where we are producing under deadlines day in, day out. If I decide to take an hour after a long days worth of work or a few hours on the weekend to play a video game how is that any where NEAR as bad as sitting down, turning on a television, and passively absorbing the filth that is cable television, or worse yet reading ANOTHER one of these insanely stupid lists. Shame on me for wasting my time on these things. Not like I don’t know what I’m going to find.

  42. Brittany Avatar
    Brittany

    Wow okay, someone is very cynical about growing up. I may not agree with everything that the younger generation is doing with their lives but some things on this list is completely absurd.

    Dating? how else do you know whether or not you want to marry the person? Maybe you did not word this correctly and meant to say that once you know you do not want to marry this person then you should part ways. But, being in your EARLY 20’s also means that you do not know exactly what you want in life and are still accomplishing many things (hopefully) so knowing whether or not you are going to marry your current someone may not be apparent in the first few months.

    Sleeping in. Ahem.. do you have children? I relish the day I will get to “sleep in” again. Maybe sleeping in means something different to you but personally it would nice to “sleep in” till 10:00 on a Saturday and be lazy. Now being able to sleep in every day does not mean you need to actually do that. I agree with setting a schedule but taking the time to sleep while you are still young is something older adults should not grumble about because they are jealous, and maybe grumpy.

    Buy things! Are you paying your bills? Actively paying off your debt? Received a college education and are now putting it to good use and making a decent amount of money? Spend it. Well, save it also, but if you want to take a vacation, or go out to a nice dinner, do it. There will come a time in life when you will only think about your little ones, and traveling the world or buying a nice bottle of wine at dinner will only be a memory. Spend some money on yourself because one day you will look back and can say you were able to be selfish, and loved it.

    On the selfish note. BE SELFISH. This is something I converse about greatly. Like I stated earlier there will be a time when you will not have the choice, well you have the choice but its not a good one, to be selfish. Other people will need to come first, and its the right thing to do. So for the time being focus on you. Make decisions based off what YOU want. Because in all actuality you are the only person who can make things happen and sometimes that means being selfish.

    Lastly, live with your parents. Relational doesn’t make sense? It only doesn’t make sense if your parents are still parenting you( ie. doing your laundry, cooking your dinner, paying your bills), you are only doing it to support a problem (ie. drugs, gambling), if you have a rocky relationship with them, or you are too lazy to work. If you have a good adult relationship with one or both of your parents and you have just graduated college, are in-between jobs, or are trying to purchase/build a residence then live with them. Pay rent, pay your own bills, do your laundry, don’t camp out on the couch, be proactive, and have a plan to move out. Apartments are a waste of money unless you live in a large city, but for someone who lives in a smaller area and jobs pay less money, and mortgages can be the same as apartment rent..just wait. Find the right place to start off. The above only pertains to people whose parents also agree with them living at their home and also know that it is not forever. For the parents who want to baby you forever or are scared you will leave….run far, far away. : )

  43. Loved this post! It is definitely time for our generation to learn how to act maturely and grow in to our calling. You don’t happen to listen to Steven Furtick do you? I attend Elevation Church and noticed some quotes from him in your blog.

  44. Michelle Avatar
    Michelle

    Also are you serious about the dating part? You want arranged marriages? Dude sometimes people want the quick hook up and light relationship for a little. I love how you are trying to dictate how people live their lives. You’re not god so stop trying to act like him. It’s people like you that give Christian’s a very, very bad name.

  45. Sweet Five Pound Baby Jesus Avatar
    Sweet Five Pound Baby Jesus

    Correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t there something in the bible about not judging others? I think it’s from the book of Luke ““Judge not, and you will not be judged; condemn not, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven”
    Yes you’re a pastor, but who made you an expert of contradicting twenty-something lifestyles? I’d respect this post a whole lot more if were more than a list of things everyone could work to improve upon, it’s stupid to target a generation that is struggling to find themselves in all realms of their life. Who has it figured out when they’re twenty two? No one, you make mistakes, you learn from them, and you move on. Stop telling people what to do, please and thank you.

    1. It also says to Judge the people inside the church, but not those outside the church. It also says you will be judged with the measure you have judged others.
      As a matter of fact every single person DOES judge. Why don’t you go be friends with a bum, a druggie a prostitute? Oh… have you judged in your mind???

  46. Bogdan this is an awesome post.
    Let the haters hate. They hated the first option and still kept reading. Tells me they were interested in what you wrote.
    I had a problem with video games. I loved them too much. I’d play for hours and say “1 more round.” And finally stop when it was 3am. Games are addicting. What we can do instead of wasting anytime playing games, watching TV, movies, books, FB, any kind of time waster, We can do what our flesh hates doing: Reading the Bible and praying to God. Pray to God and ask Him to show Himself to you, to come and live with you. Sadly the majority of Christians tend to deceive themselves with the thought that “Christ lives in me.” Not God the Father, but Christ. Ask Him to come to you and don’t stop until He does!
    Awesome post. Very true indeed. Keep up the good work.

  47. G. Fricker Avatar
    G. Fricker

    Things I wish clergy would do: stop telling us how to live our lives and mind their own business! You’re a modern day Witch Doctor, and nothing more.
    Stop playing video games? Bite me, you self righteous twerp! Stop trying to convince people that there is some magical sky-daddy watching them. It’s incompatible with science, and just plain dishonest.

    1. The fool says in his heart, “there is no God.” You G. Fricker are a fool! Turn your hatred and bias on your self and go do something for a change!!! If you have no proof that God does not exist stop being a modern day Biased Fool. God created science. If you want to say something about God, first go seek Him with “all of your heart” and see if you will find Him. You will find Him. Unless you are, after all.. a fool.

  48. Hi guys – thank you for the dialogue. Because of the number of conversations going on here, there has been implemented a comment policy:

    Comment Policy: Thank you for coming to my blog – I look forward to our interaction together!

    Please leave positive comments that encourage healthy dialogue. Provide criticism in a way that is constructive and has a character of mutual upbuilding and encouragement for all people involved.

    If your comment is rude, contains expletives or profanity, a trolling comment, a hater comment or a comment that attacks the character of the author or the commenter (not the content) or anything else that falls under these categories – your commenting privileges will not be honored. The definition of these terms is left to the discretion of the author of this blog.

  49. Catherine Avatar
    Catherine

    what i mainly disagree with is the whole “leave your parents and get your own place” lol im not even allowed to walk to the bus stop alone (not joking), im sure living alone is not an option, besides im happy being with my family where i belong, ill move out when im married

  50. I think it would be much more useful if you would point out 20 things people in their twenties SHOULD BE DOING. It’s always easier to tell someone to stop doing whatever it is, but if you’re a pastor, as you claim to be, then you should lead the way.

  51. I learned the Bible from playing video games in college. Listened to sermons and played video games on my down time. Transformed me from the inside out.

  52. This guy’s writing is a waste of time. I’ve read better writing by middle schoolers. I’m definitely not going to dump my girlfriend who I love. Sorry bro. But I have been Christian my whole life so party on.

  53. Good list but some of these like video games..? which i personally dont play are better than going out shopping for extremely expensive church cloths (express, boss..) and showing off at church or partying drinking causing trouble..

  54. Hey Bogdan,
    I wanted to contribute my thoughts about video games. I have made long-lasting friendships that began with a commonality in video games. Socially, on a college campus, I find video games to be a great gateway to building relationships and bonding with my guy-friends. This is my personal experience, and I understand that it cannot apply across the board. Nonetheless, I think that there are ways to use them to reach people who may not be reached otherwise.
    However, I also agree that I have found no redemptive in locking myself up in a dark rom alone for multiple hours playing a video game. This cannot, and has not, be of any use to me. Somebody may justify this because it is their time to relax, but I can think of better ways to relax than isolation from the world. Also, some people are skilled and are paid to be “gamers” and this is their career. There are not very many people of this category, though.

  55. fancystephanie Avatar
    fancystephanie

    Interesting post, but like most other people here, I disagree with a lot of your items.

    First, your 20’s are when you’re supposed to dream big, and figure out where you’re life is going. This is very normal for millennials. Pretty much all the bloggers I read have dreamed big and put in the hard work in their 20’s, and then saw the actualization of their dreams/work in their 30’s.

    Second, video games. I don’t like playing them, but I don’t condemn people who play them. I like reading romance novels. There is nothing redemptive about romance novels, and I really don’t care. It’s entertainment. It allows me to turn my brain off for a few hours a week, and that’s normal and healthy. Every single thing we do doesn’t need to have redeeming value.

    Third, I get up at 4:30 AM Monday – Friday to get to work on time. Due to school and Bible study, most days, I’m in bed around 11 PM. After getting little more than 5 hours of sleep on weekdays, I’m going to sleep in until 8 AM on Saturdays and Sundays.

    Fourth, DATING. I wish I had dated my ex-husband longer than I did. Maybe I would have seen that he was abusive. Maybe I would have not married him. I don’t know. But I do know that when I do get married again, it will be after spending most days together. It will be after dating for three – or four, or five – years. It will be after taking vacations together, without a wedding date set. Just because you love someone doesn’t mean you should marry them. You need to know what that person is really and truly like before making a commitment which, Lord willing, will last for the rest of your life.

    And finally, I’m so, so glad you aren’t my pastor (actually, I have a priest, because I go to an Eastern Orthodox church). You don’t sound very compassionate. You don’t sound like someone I can talk to about things I’m dealing with. You seem extremely judgmental and not at all loving. You seem inflexible, and it seem like you think that because you’re a pastor, that you think you have all the answers. This is what I see when I read this post. I grew up fundamental Baptist, and being around you would be a major trigger for me. Rigidity and legalism are triggers, and going to your church would give me a panic attack.

    You know the two commandments that Jesus gave us. And quite honestly, I don’t feel loved when I read this post. I feel hurt, and I feel angry. I don’t see Jesus here in this blog post. A lot of people that have commented seem to feel the same way. Maybe you should rethink your methods.

  56. Hello friends: Before you comment, please read this post. http://kipko.us/1g8XBOs

  57. Estepahead Avatar
    Estepahead

    1. While everyone is entitled to their own opinion, it is frustrating when someone expresses a opinion (designed to be advise) with no evidence or explanation. I must admit I am a gamer, my wife and I are gamers, it is something we love doing together, and she even watches me play even if she is not in the mood to play herself. There have been numerous, scientifically based, research projects that show videos games can and do have positive benefits and just like anything moderation is key.

    2. If you are a Christian then this point is a major issue, and I agree.

    3. People in the United States, on average sleep less then most of the world. This contributes to many health issues. Again, everything in moderation.

    4. Agree

    5,6,7. Slightly contradictory but overall it makes sense.

    8-20 Agree

    Bonus point. When I got married, my wife and I were still in school and working, I moved out of may parents house because that is what is intended and necessary. Everything was going along ok, then the economy went south, we could not find jobs, my parents offered us a room for years but I refused. After everything and all the hard work, (getting my bachelors, and masters) my wife and I had to move in with my family, only now we have debt because we held out so long to live on our own. Sometime the situation is out of our hands, and it might be part of God’s plan, but telling people to do something that makes no financial sense is irresponsible.

  58. One step you say to dream big, then the very next to dream small. What exactly is this article trying to say? Be psychic? Well, hate to tell you, but even 30 or 40 or even 50 somethings can’t plan their entire lives ahead of time.

    The last thing twenty somethings need is one more person telling them their lives are going wrong. As a pastor, and someone supposedly speaking from a godly perspective, I would think you’d know better. This article is very disappointing and I hope you feel a little ashamed and think about uplifting rather than shaming our youth next time you open your mouth.

  59. Please quit posting that link to cover yourself. Stand up for what you post. I most definitely have to disagree with number #1. There has been a LOT of evidence that shows playing video games is good for our brains. It increases problem solving skills, coordination, and reaction time. Also, I don’t believe there’s anything wrong with “church hopping”. If you don’t stand behind what the church says, then you need to GET OUT!”. As soon as I hear the preacher telling everyone that evolution doesn’t exist, I stand up and walk out. Evolution has been scientifically proven, if you can’t wake up and realize that’s true, then I don’t want to listen to anything else you have to say.

    I’m glad you’re turning 30 soon, because you definitely aren’t connected to the 20-somethings anymore…

  60. This post is being completely ignorant of video games. If you’re saying that video games should be dropped completely then you should be saying the same thing about the internet and television. This article is also contradicting itself. You’re saying “don’t dream too big” and then you say “Don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t accomplish your wildest dreams”. And alot of that the points are just common sense life stuff like not getting arrested and being lazy that don’t have much to do with being in your twenties or God. It’s also being redundant on alot of points. Doesn’t seem very thought out to me… especially with point number one, its just a blind and unsupported statement.

    1. Did he call for the abolishment of video games? I’m pretty sure he didn’t. He’s talking to young adults who are living in their teens..

      You guys need to learn to hear WHAT he’s trying to say. Hint: IT’S NOT ABOUT VIDEO GAMES.

  61. John Mann Avatar
    John Mann

    Hi Bogdan,

    I would like to say that I agree with some of the points you make. Yes, 20-something’s have a tendency to be indecisive, and they tend lack an understanding of life on a long term scale. With that said, I completely disagree with your approach to explain why twenty-year-olds are not obtaining spiritual or financial success. ‘Dreaming Too Big’, ‘Dreaming Too Small’, & ‘Setting Unrealisitc Goals’ is so extremely vague and merely states that we should ‘dream perfectly’. Rather, you could approach in giving advice by saying to understand what it means to dream, what it means to set goals, and what it looks like to see life holistically — from beginning to end. What do they desire from their life, and what will actually bring pure happiness. Is that not what life is about? For me I find my happiness in knowing The Lord is the basis for my decisions in life. This makes making decisions and planning life easy, but many young adults my age don’t have that strong base for decision making. This, Bogdan, is the advice we need. Not the consistent reinforcement that drinking too much, being too lazy, and playing too many videos games is bad. We have heard this a hundred times. What would make this post any different?

  62. Spencer Jerome Avatar
    Spencer Jerome

    Many others have already posted here there thoughts on video games, the latest form of interactive media. Just like film, music, and literature can engage us, so can games. I realize as an outsider looking at the games that make main stream media I could see where a rash generalization about them could be made, but if you don’t apply that to all media (And you really shouldn’t as we’re creatures who live with stories and put great importance in them.) then it is just a generalization of a medium you’re not familiar with.

    I really do urge you take a look at your definitive statement about games having absolutely no value and realize that the future of the entertainment sector is probably going to lie in games. Don’t be the Footloose of video games. ^_^

    I did enjoy some of the other points on your list though! Have fun blogger, if you’re truly open-minded, you’ll take the vast amount of feedback and take a peek at the litany of scientific research as well evaluate your own perceptions, as anyone of ours can be wrong. As humans we are fallible.

  63. I love this article. It is sad that most people are getting caught up on the video game thing. Personally I do not play video games and what I got from the comment was not that they are a waste of time for learning purposes, but that we need to grow up. Spending hours playing a video game (in my opinion) could be used to do more proactive things. I personally love the comments about work and dreaming big. I have wasted years taking the easy route by making money to pay my bills. I have not pushed myself to go back to school to get a job I will enjoy and want to work there until I retire. Again, I think this is a great article and I don’t think you are telling people how to live, but giving your opinion on what to change off of your own personal experiences. Thank you for writing this I will definitely be sharing it with my friends.

  64. Bogdan. I respect what you say about video games. Certainly there are people who waste their time on video games. But I wouldn’t say they are completely useless. Is reading a good book completely useless? Is watching a movie that makes you think completely useless? Or listening to a beautiful piece of music? I don’t know how much experience you have with video games, but I can assure you they are turning more and more into an art form. I don’t play them often, probably less than once a month. But the ones I have played recently have been some of the most moving stories I’ve experienced in my life, and I wouldn’t give up the memories I have of them easily.

  65. You’ve lost all credibility with me as soon as he said video games were completely useless. I’m sorry, but “games” in every form be it board, sports, video, etc have been played for thousands of generations not only for their recreational value – but they teach us important analytical skills, problem solving, coordination, and teamwork among other things. Some of my fondest memories growing up were spending time playing video games with my older brothers and my friends.

    If your issue is the amount of TIME people spend on video games then that in itself is a SEPARATE issue unrelated to video games at all. Everything in moderation of course, but you need to open your eyes and open your mind if you truly believe that video games have no redemptive value.

  66. Mr Kipko, I must say I am confused by this list. First, you give no reason why you think these things, only that they are true, and the closest source to back up your thought is the verse about being master builders. This is likely why people feel offended by your comments: not only do you think these things in absolutes, but that you offer no reasons for thinking such and why they should think the same.
    The easiest example is the videogames one: you say it has no value, and are absolutely useless. You offer no reasons why you believe videogames have no value, you do not compare them with similar recreational activities like boardgames or sports or videogames played at a social level, only that it IS so and that the only course of action is to sell away those games, something you consider simple. To be frank, I have little reason to believe you even had much personal experience in these points. If there’s one thing people hate more than being lectured, it’s being lectured by someone that isn’t even familiar with the subject matter.

    Another thing is that while it’s true this is a personal blog meant for one person sharing his thoughts and beliefs, this feels like just a cop-out from responses. If anything it’s dismissive nature reinforces the idea that you really are ignorant and arrogant and, ironically, think you know everything. Personally I think you just made up this list in an emotional reaction and posted it online in one afternoon. We don’t know that, since you don’t seem to say much about yourself, only what other people should be doing.
    Lastly, you don’t seem to be the discussing type, just the kind that makes a message, leaves it, and leaves everyone thinking what on earth that was about. Even Jesus was not like that. The closest you have to conversing with the responses here are “Amen!” or “Please read this hardly related link”.

    In short, you come off as a very anti-social person, whose use of a blog is to be a distant mouthpiece for your views without the risk of confronted with challenges to them. I cannot say that’s is what makes a good pastor, or even a good person. If you really want blogs such as these to make an effect on people, didn’t share what you think others should be doing, share yourself. It’s pretty obvious that these points come from your own perspective and feeling of what is the best for someone, so share that instead.

    1. Hi guys – thank you for all your comments — I will be posting a video response shortly to the most common objections that I see in the comments – My goal is and always will be to write things from a Christ-centered perspective. Looking forward to our interaction after the video post (which I will embed into this blog post).

    2. Hi – I will be posting a video response shortly. Thank you for commenting.

  67. I reacted rather strongly to the video game comment, but as that’s been well-covered, one of the thoughts I had was on the “bonus” suggestion. It is a cultural norm in North American culture to move out of your parents’ home and form your own home. This is not necessarily so in other parts of the world, and has not been a typical way of life during much of human history. It can be extremely beneficial to reside in family groups–I’ve seen it work quite well, and sometimes I really wish my husband and I were doing that so we’d have more help with our daughter (to be fair, I’m speaking from a position where I have the kind of relationship with my parents where they are remarkably good at treating me and my siblings as independent adults–I know that doesn’t always happen). Yes, it’s not always the best situation, and in that case, it’s probably better to not reside with your family, but nor is living with your parents a sign of failure to develop as a person. What if your parents are aging and you are living with them in order to provide care for them? Is that irresponsible? Is it irresponsible to acknowledge that it is currently better for you to reside with your family and contribute to their household because your own finances are not yet sufficient to establish your own home? Not all of us are able to find jobs which enable us to move out at young age, particularly in the job market of the last few years, so moving out may not even be an option, in which case, scolding someone for doing what may be the only viable option isn’t very helpful.

  68. Anthony Natarelli Avatar
    Anthony Natarelli

    Theres nothing wrong with dating, video games have many proven benefits, and God… lets not get started there. Im sick of all you bloggers and commenters thinking you can tell people how to live. We shouldnt stop doig anything. Early jobs suck, bitch about them. There isnt anythig wrong with that. As a pastor, you clearly have a biased view of the world that means nothing to a large demographic of twenty year olds. Live how you live but dont push it on others. Not that telling a christian that has ever helped before.

  69. I don’t believe in god.

  70. Also, how is spending hours on making your preachy blog any different than playing video games? Get off your high horse.

  71. First of all, the bible is a book older written long, long ago, with out any proof its legit. and even if we do say is legit, then comes to question why did we not include the hundreds of other books also written as part of God’s will? Well this is because we face this reality with faith right? well then who are we to say anything to others who also have FAITH that their religion or believes are right? But lets not look at that lets focus on what he tells us. No Video games? well there have been studies where video games have been proven to release stress. No sleeping in? most of the world’s successful people did not even go to school which is usually on morning and woke up late, point made. Well I’m sure I don’t know everything and never will, but I’m also sure you are in the same spot as me in these situation, so don’t tell people what to or not to do, for the simple fact that it worked for you. DREAM BIG always it does not matter if you fail, one day you will be happy you tried it .NOW on letting others predict a future they cannot control, well my friend is he (the author of this work) not doing the same by telling you what you should not do in order to be successful? now to Church Hoping, well on this all I have to say is that really dude? your going to tell people what church to go to now? why cant they not look for a church where they find themselves happy, and feel the presence of god? Oh and for an extra tip do what you want with your life no one cant tell you if you are wrong or right, so do as you feel as long as you don’t hurt others or break the law you will be fine and happy.

  72. This is not good. This is bad.

  73. Completely disagree with #1. People who don’t play video games generally don’t understand the benefits of video games, or anything about them for that matter. Therefore they’re useless for some reason.
    A few things I don’t agree on with this post, but eh, to each their own.

  74. After reading this post and mulling it over I felt like something had to be said about several of the points and how they were approached. The following are solely my opinion but I feel because you have opened your blog to the world that you should be free to receive opinions in return without sarcasm as I have seen in your comments above.

    1. Video games I believe do not need to be discarded completely. I believe they are okay in moderation and that you are passing far too much judgement upon this activity then need be. Many people use video games as a means of communication. For example I use video games to experience entertainment with friends and family I would not be otherwise able to do so due to distances between each other and other circumstance. I actually feel like as Christians we have missed the mark hugely on this one. Video games if they had been handled properly could have been used as a tool to reach our youth, technology is an amazing thing, you would not have this blog if it weren’t for technology.

    2. Dating – While I agree with your point of living with others and having sex before marriage I do not agree with telling people to stop dating. I am curious if you are married and if so, how long did you date your Significant Other before you realized they were the one for you to marry, and depending on the time frame. Would you have second guessed your relationship if someone had told you to stop dating them just because you weren’t sure about marriage with them yet. To be prepared to marry someone you need to get to know them first. Without proper relationship building most marriages would fail.

    3. Sleeping in – I am not quite sure what you are going for with this point. I believe sleeping in is actually a good thing depending on the circumstance. For example the Sabbath was originally meant for people to stay home and go to church that evening without doing any work throughout the day so they could rest. Also there are people who need to sleep on a different schedule compared to others. I for one tend to work graveyard and swing shifts for my job, which means I need to sleep from 6 am till 2 pm in order to function properly as a human being.

    4. Thinking you know everything – I agree we have developed a generation of people who believe just because they are better informed at times sometimes they believe they know everything. In contrast, it is a bit paradoxical that you are spouting all this “knowledge” and rules for living to 20 year olds when you were there but 12 months prior.

    5. and 6. Dreaming – This is perhaps the most puzzling to me dreams of all sizes are good as long as we can distinguish reality from dreams. Telling people that they can’t dream one way or another because it’s just right is wrong. You talk about dreaming too small well what if someone’s goal is just work at there church in a support role, or be a nurse, or just be the nice person on the block, should we tell them to forget those dreams and tell them they can be more?

    7. 8. 9. 10. 11. and 12. I believe are all good points.

    13. This point is good yet I feel as if you were just looking for a way to make 20 points instead of 19, it’s almost like saying don’t kill yourself. It’s a bit in your face and makes you seem like you believe youths are stupid enough to thinking getting arrested is okay.

    14. 15. 16. 17. 18. These are all good points no difference in opinion here.

    19. Being too busy – I find it interesting you tell people not to be too busy so they should make themselves busy. I would amend that statement to say don’t be too busy for God and for your church family. Otherwise your telling people don’t be busy, go to church and get busy, and that seems a little confusing.

    20. I definitely agree with this statement as well.

    Again the above are my opinions on your opinions. You might respond with “well in most cases I am right” or “stating if you don’t like it don’t read it” that sounds both arrogant and a bit distasteful. You are placing your opinion in the world and then mocking those who offer an opinion in return. I would like to remind you although you are very intelligent you are still young and I don’t believe in telling people what they can or can not do. Instead offer them guidelines, young people learn from their mistakes best. Look at Adam and Eve, God gave them one rule and they broke it, you are laying out 20 more rules along with thousands already given by the society we live in, take life less seriously and converse with your fellow man before you establish a set of rules for 1 size fits all. Everyone is different so when you state, I am right in most cases it sounds as if you are saying well that one case doesn’t really matter. This is all I have to say on the matter.
    -Coming from a 23 year old devout christian. Who goes to school full time, works full time, and is involved with Christ and my church full time. God Bless you.

  75. 21. Stop giving advice that are sweeping generalizations

    1. This is my personal blog – so anything I write will include some sort of advice – the idea is for it to help anyone who reads it. If it does not resonate with you – no problem, we can disagree agreeably 🙂

  76. Luke Fedder Avatar
    Luke Fedder

    Oh nice. So after the fervor stoked by your medieval interpretation of Christianity you wiped the comment log? Nice.

    1. Luke hi – no not at all. I am installing “Disqus,” which is a commenting system for WordPress and it will allow a much better experience for conversation within a blog post. With so many comments, the native WordPress commenting system is not adequate. And while the new system is being installed, the comments disappear – but only temporarily.

    2. Luke hi – no not at all. I am installing “Disqus,” which is a commenting system for WordPress and it will allow a much better experience for conversation within a blog post. With so many comments, the native WordPress commenting system is not adequate. And while the new system is being installed, the comments disappear – but only temporarily.

  77. ひかり Avatar
    ひかり

    This shit gona bring down Hollywood

  78. petitorgaudii Avatar
    petitorgaudii

    Come back when you have live three or four more decades. Then you will have earned the right to offer only your opinion.

    1. I am not sure if I will be blogging still then 🙂

  79. Combobreaker Avatar
    Combobreaker

    Whert. I can agree with most of what you say to a point but your very 1st note is more than extreme. Just because YOU think video games are “non-redemptive trash only for lazy fools toys” does not make them so. I have to work my butt off at work and even at church, when I get some downtime (which is minimal) I enjoy some classic gaming especially with my friends to relax and just enjoy. I am sure watching tv, movies, being on the INTERNET (as is your case) are all equally if not more un-redemptive and the cause of much laziness (including sinful lustful things). Why dont you throw away your computer and tv and then we’ll have a chat about your wisdom on such matters. But seeing how you have an entire website I don’t see that happening. My advice to you would be to think about such things and use a bit of common sense then go gung-ho on things you personally believe to be “useless”. Other than that, I can agree with most of the others.
    Maybe you could say, “not so MUCH video games and Facebook use” or something.
    God bless man.

    1. Hi – thank you for your comment. You are exactly right – there is opportunity for me to do more research on the positive side-effects of video games 🙂

        1. Awesome, I will check it out. Thank you for the link!

      1. I am very glad that you are responding in a very mature and non-dismissive manner. I can’t say how much that first point irked me to no end.

      2. And you’ll find that the positive effects of video games is virtually endless. They have medical uses, education uses, rehabilitation uses, and many others. Even “violent” video games have been show to have positive effects on brain function.
        As with anything, video games in excess is not good for you. But in moderation their benefits vastly outweigh those of any other mainstream media (TV, movies, books)

  80. Says, “Don’t dream so big that you are setting yourself up for a personal meltdown.”

    Then says, “Don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t accomplish your wildest dreams.”

    Hmm.

    1. Jordan hi – yes there must be a balance between the two. Yes absolutely dream big – at the same time, if whatever it is that you were hoping for does not happen – then you have to prepare yourself to not experience a personal meltdown. The two spectrums must be in balance.

  81. After reading this post and mulling it over I felt like something had to be said about several of the points and how they were approached. The following are solely my opinion but I feel because you have opened your blog to the world that you should be free to receive opinions in return without sarcasm as I have seen in your comments above.

    1. Video games I believe do not need to be discarded completely. I believe they are okay in moderation and that you are passing far too much judgement upon this activity then need be. Many people use video games as a means of communication. For example I use video games to experience entertainment with friends and family I would not be otherwise able to do so due to distances between each other and other circumstance. I actually feel like as Christians we have missed the mark hugely on this one. Video games if they had been handled properly could have been used as a tool to reach our youth, technology is an amazing thing, you would not have this blog if it weren’t for technology.

    2. Dating – While I agree with your point of living with others and having sex before marriage I do not agree with telling people to stop dating. I am curious if you are married and if so, how long did you date your Significant Other before you realized they were the one for you to marry, and depending on the time frame. Would you have second guessed your relationship if someone had told you to stop dating them just because you weren’t sure about marriage with them yet. To be prepared to marry someone you need to get to know them first. Without proper relationship building most marriages would fail.

    3. Sleeping in – I am not quite sure what you are going for with this point. I believe sleeping in is actually a good thing depending on the circumstance. For example the Sabbath was originally meant for people to stay home and go to church that evening without doing any work throughout the day so they could rest. Also there are people who need to sleep on a different schedule compared to others. I for one tend to work graveyard and swing shifts for my job, which means I need to sleep from 6 am till 2 pm in order to function properly as a human being.

    4. Thinking you know everything – I agree we have developed a generation of people who believe just because they are better informed at times sometimes they believe they know everything. In contrast, it is a bit paradoxical that you are spouting all this “knowledge” and rules for living to 20 year olds when you were there but 12 months prior.

    5. and 6. Dreaming – This is perhaps the most puzzling to me dreams of all sizes are good as long as we can distinguish reality from dreams. Telling people that they can’t dream one way or another because it’s just right is wrong. You talk about dreaming too small well what if someone’s goal is just work at there church in a support role, or be a nurse, or just be the nice person on the block, should we tell them to forget those dreams and tell them they can be more?

    7. 8. 9. 10. 11. and 12. I believe are all good points.

    13. This point is good yet I feel as if you were just looking for a way to make 20 points instead of 19, it’s almost like saying don’t kill yourself. It’s a bit in your face and makes you seem like you believe youths are stupid enough to thinking getting arrested is okay.

    14. 15. 16. 17. 18. These are all good points no difference in opinion here.

    19. Being too busy – I find it interesting you tell people not to be too busy so they should make themselves busy. I would amend that statement to say don’t be too busy for God and for your church family. Otherwise your telling people don’t be busy, go to church and get busy, and that seems a little confusing.

    20. I definitely agree with this statement as well.

    Again the above are my opinions on your opinions. You might respond with “well in most cases I am right” or “stating if you don’t like it don’t read it” that sounds both arrogant and a bit distasteful. You are placing your opinion in the world and then mocking those who offer an opinion in return. I would like to remind you although you are very intelligent you are still young and I don’t believe in telling people what they can or can not do. Instead offer them guidelines, young people learn from their mistakes best. Look at Adam and Eve, God gave them one rule and they broke it, you are laying out 20 more rules along with thousands already given by the society we live in, take life less seriously and converse with your fellow man before you establish a set of rules for 1 size fits all. Everyone is different so when you state, I am right in most cases it sounds as if you are saying well that one case doesn’t really matter. This is all I have to say on the matter.
    -Coming from a 23 year old devout christian. Who goes to school full time, works full time, and is involved with Christ and my church full time. God Bless you.

  82. You have a right to post your opinions, but frankly opinions are either good or bad, regardless of what you think..

    Case in point it is bad because you don’t really talk about these points, and having read your other articles, that’s really all there is: they are vague but short points of things that people should do or not do. That is neither effective communication, or sounding Christ-like: I assume you want to be an actual pastor, or at least the kind of Christian that would make a difference. Right now, you sound like Paul’s clanging gong: all talk, no love.
    In the end it is not even so much of whether you are right or wrong, but rather how you say the things you believe in. Would it be far more effective to speak to young twenty-somethings if you posited this list as questions to think over?
    Example for point 1: “Do you believe video games have any redemptive value (insert definition) and something you consider a good way to spend your time?” sounds a lot more engaging than “Videogames are useless, don’t do it.” At least with the former, you treat these twenty-somethings like adults that could think and make up their own minds. Some will agree with your opinion, some may not. What matters is they thought about it, for themselves.
    Don’t decide for someone else, ask them what they have decided on. Passion has a way of clouding judgment in how to engage in the most effective and positive manner. Yes, as a mid-twenty-something, I made that mistake the most often Passion is best used when harnessed and with a careful mind.

  83. TheOldGods Avatar
    TheOldGods

    Hi,
    I’m here because of a post that came up on my Facebook feed. I understand this is your blog and your opinion but when you post to the web you have to expect some opposing beliefs…which I will gladly provide. I want to address a few of your points:

    1. There is nothing redemptive about video games? People like to spend time overcoming challenges, even if it is a fictional challenge. People have an appreciation for games as an art, or as a story telling device. They serve as a common interest between friends, they have cultural significance.

    2. Really? I have never heard anyone advise against dating. Dating is fun, being with people is fun even if you have no interest in marrying them. I have never heard of someone advising against friendly social interaction. Social connections are important in the lives of 20 year-olds. Maybe you meant sex (which is a whole new can of worms)?

    5,6 & 7 are the same. Set challenging goals that are reachable.

    8, 9, 11, & 12 are the same. Be your own person.

    13. I am kind of offended this made the list because its so obvious. I think most people know not to get arrested. “Why would you taint your record with this avoidable event?” People don’t get arrested on purpose.

    15 &16. Again, these shouldn’t be listed because they are so obvious. I don’t think people need to be told to not be lazy and produce quality work.

    Maybe cut the list down to 5 or 10 quality pieces of advice. The church hopping one actually seems like good advice relative to your blog.

    Anyway, just trying to help. Cool gig you got here.

  84. I totally agree with “OLDGODS” post. While you make some good points, many we redundant and obvious……others I felt were ridiculous. Dating?

  85. Jeraboam Avatar
    Jeraboam

    this is a joke? Right? You see, I’m confused because it’s not really funny, but also mind-numbingly stupid. “Stop getting arrested” is the one that is one that keeps throwing me off…

    1. I absolutely agree with you

  86. Hi guys, please watch this video post that answers most of the questions in the comments: http://kipko.us/1e7CLf3

  87. I stopped reading when I saw the first reason.

  88. Corinne Neuschwander Avatar
    Corinne Neuschwander

    I enjoyed this post, especially in light of the fact that I know several young adults who have no direction in life and do nothing but play video games, party, sleep in, sleep around, and yes get arrested. This is exactly the message they need to hear.
    For the rest of us, I think it’s a good reminder to live a life of balance and purpose.
    Just because it may not apply to you, relax and praise God you’re already doing just fine. But this message may be just what someone else needs to hear. In other words, ease up on the ferocity and defensiveness in the comments folks. If he’s not talking to you, he’s probably talking to someone else and probably knows some people you don’t who DO need these “rules” to wake the up a little.
    Thanks for sharing.

  89. Justin Credible Love Avatar
    Justin Credible Love

    I really hope this article was a joke…

  90. I just wanted to write and say thanks for the post, and thanks for responding to all the negative comments with love and respect!

    1. Hi Michael, thank you for your encouragement! It really means a lot to me!

  91. bobo_exterminator Avatar
    bobo_exterminator

    Sorry, I just can’t agree with #1. It was from video games where my love for computers began and where eventually, I have honed my logical thinking. My typing skills have drastically improved and I can type code fast + think fast. I did well in college and I’m loving my career so far. I hope this is a satire.

  92. Thank you for the post, this challenges me a lot. Out of all honesty, I can especially agree with 1, as harsh it may sound, I was a former gamer myself, played a ton alot of fps, rpgs and rts for half my life, and although i can relate with other gamers about appreciating the art, teamwork, story as well as the scientific studies that it improves reaction speed etc, I can say the cons outweigh the pros. Games Absorb so much time and became a source of escape, especially when life got tough. I grew further apart from family and people i cared about. And the more I played, the more i became numb to reality and the people around me. Maybe others have better control and don’t allow this happen, still i think other activities have more pros than games, As i heard a pastor said, playing video games is not a sin, its just stupid. They pretty much substitute all the wonderful things, friendships and skills you can devote to a cause in real life. I have nothing against gaming, but I know i could invest my time in greater things than conquering a fictional orc kingdom.

    Besides….. final fantasy 15 came out for ps4…instead of ps3!…and i’m not wasting anymore money on consoles and the false promises htye bring…. im sure they’ll come out with ps5, 6, 20….., but its okay, i can live life without it -.-“

    1. Hi Jeff – thank you for your honesty! 🙂 Everything you said in your comment is spot on.

  93. 5, 6, 7, and 11 are all contradictory. 11 tells you not to let others control your future, and yet in 5-7 you tell them what kind of dreams/goals to have. “dream big, but not too big! but also no too small! and don’t let others tell you what to do with your future!” see the problem? not to mention the other opinions that are clearly from someone who wants others to be just as bored as he.

    1. Please watch the video that I made to clarify my points – I do hope you will see there are no contradictions within the post – but even if there is, I most likely overlooked it and I do/can/will make mistakes 🙂 http://kipko.us/1e7CLf3

  94. Stop and reflect on #4

  95. Paul Dominic Saa Avatar
    Paul Dominic Saa

    these are the things one person in twenties should not abuse…it doesn’t mean that once you have done it its already bad… this is to let you think and make you realize, reassess, and contemplate on your life… the question is are you happy with what your doing.. please don’t be to literal.. this is an opinion…

  96. I'mJustAMan Avatar
    I’mJustAMan

    In response to number 15. Doing work that is mediocre. I despise my job and yet I am the best at it. I can’t help but do my best. Unfortunately I get no reward for almost 4 years of working harder than all my coworkers and completing all the tasks set before me with the highest quality I can muster while watching everyone around me slack off and make the same wages and get the same vacation time that I do. Sometimes we do just need a new place to work.

    In response to 18. Church hopping. Yes, I agree that a church can be an excellent place to learn about life and be a part of community that helps others. It can set you on a good path, but it is not the only way to find a righteous path. Many people don’t NEED a church. If you’re committing your time to helping people, and doing it simply because it’s the right thing to do then what more can anyone ask of you? Church wasn’t made by God, it was made by man (and yes I understand that God mad man, but this isn’t exactly a commutative thing) and as humans we are imperfect and so the things we make are often imperfect. I am not against church, I actually quite enjoy it and love having a place to renew my faith when I stray, but my point is that it’s not a necessity.

    1. Hi – I would have to respectfully disagree about church not being made by God because in fact Jesus created the church – He himself said “I will build my church,” (Matt. 16:18). I would go as far as saying that the church is the number one priority on Jesus list and if it is a priority for Him, it sure is a priority for me. Being plugged in to one local community is the best thing anyone can possibly do. Again, this is my position based on my world view. Please check out an entire section I have written on regarding the church: kipko.net/church.

      About your work – I agree – sometimes, there needs to be an exit strategy from a place of employment. This is why when I say “some of us don’t need a better job, we just need to do our job better,” it might not necessarily apply to your specific situation. The statements that I make here are prescriptive, not prophetic in nature – blessings to you!

  97. Glad you posted a video for clarity, because I was going to let you have it. I actually read the post before watching the video and then after watching, I reread. Initially, you had me thinking you were spreading your STDs ( Spiritually Transmitted Diseases); an attempt to impose your personal spiritual path on to others. However, your video made it clear that you were just simply speaking from experience. The only critique that I have is that if you are relying on people to know you (through attending your church or just simplying being a Christian) in order to understand your post without a video explanation, you’ll probably continue to end up with a lot of the same reactions, but I’m pretty sure you know that. My point is I respected and even understood you more after watching the video. If this kind of clarity came out more through your writing, I would be more interested in other things you have to say. I have never been to your blog before (found my way here via facebook), but just from this one post, I’m under the impression that for some of your more frank post, I’ll need a video explanation. Don’t know if I’ll be back or if you will even see this, but I’m just giving you my perspective and possibly something to think about.

    1. Hi – thank you for your comment – at first I wasn’t sure where you were going but I am glad where it arrived 🙂 I do invite you to come back and interact with the other content that is posted here — blessings to you!

  98. Moral of the story, don’t post until you’ve done your research. Majority of your so-called points are one-sided. I am a Christian myself and you are seriously CLOSE-MINDED.

    1. Mark hi – thank you for your comment. Please watch this video I made where I clarify my thoughts behind the post: http://kipko.us/1e7CLf3

  99. Don’t tell me how to live my life, I won’t tell you how to live yours.

    1. Don’t want people to tell you how to live your life? Don’t go to their personal websites to read their opinions.

  100. hahahahahahahahahahahahahah

  101. just another twenty-something Avatar
    just another twenty-something

    Just wanted to say I love this post. I read most of the comments below, as well as your replies and I have to say I’m impressed with your humility and grace. I didn’t even watch the video you posted and I really liked everything you wrote. People don’t like to be told what to do with their lives, or how they could improve. That’s just a fact. However, hopefully at some point people will realize that it’s OK if you are corrected-no one holds it against you if you change your views or current lifestyle because you came across a better view or way to live. We as Americans (and I include myself for sure) seem to have such a problem with accepting that a different view could be better then our own–a problem that reaches from the churches who split over trivial matters, to a government that is so polarized they would rather shut down then compromise.
    All of that to say, I’m thankful you chose to post this. I’d encourage those who read it to lower your guard for a second, and really ask yourself if these things offend you because they are intrinsically BAD (like child porn or murder is obviously bad), or because you feel attacked personally–a good indication that your pride is getting in the way of a stellar learning opportunity.

  102. You’re really a jerk. Why I continued reading this garbage is beyond me. I have two kids — one 19 and one almost 21. I wouldn’t advise him or her on that vast majority of the crap in this article. I also would not encourage them to go to church. They go to college. They have jobs. They pay bills. They don’t need a church — or someone like you telling them how to live their lives just because this is what worked for you. I also encourage DATING. I’ve never heard something so bizarre. I lived with my first husband through college (because it was the only way we could afford to go to college) and for a few years after before we married. We then ended up married for 11 years and two children later we still ended up divorced and to this day, I’d rather poke my eyes out with sticks then EVER get back into a relationship with him. My second husband — we lived together for two years before marrying and I can say we have no been married for almost 13 years and we are quite happy and my kids love him like he is their own father. I’d also rather have my child playing video games than out drinking and partying which is what the vast majority of kids his age do around here. He still attends college and has a job. Volunteering is great — and maybe more readily available in a city — but my kids don’t hesitate or refuse to help others when called upon – or not called upon for that matter. They carry groceries, open doors, help, etc., with out being asked. Your article is offensive, opinionated, and really shouldn’t even be a link on FB. You do your thing. We’ll do ours.

  103. thissiteisgay Avatar
    thissiteisgay

    automatic douche, don’t live your life by what some people like this douche are saying , live your life how you want , can’t stand people who look down on the way people live there lives. obvious thing after to do after 20 IS…… have a job .. that’s it

    1. You are an interesting character; thissiteisgay. If you knew the definition of the word (douche). You would be embarrassed, dis-respecting a pastor like that.

      Here is the def: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=douche

      P.S. Now you called him a (automatic douche) which made me laugh, because they have them.
      http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Gr79OtquZrY

  104. Video games? I viewed the first point as if you are referring to people who are addicted to video games. Which really is useless, because the person becomes a slave to their addiction. Which has no life other than the video game he/she is in. I don’t understand why the public is lacking common sence and became irritated by great advice you gave to young adults whom are sucked in this fantacy gaming world… Yes, I do understand educational games do have a positive effect, but there needs to be a healthy balance.

    I really like it how Solomon said it;

    Be happy, young man, while you are young, and let your heart give you joy in the days of your youth. Follow the ways of your heart and whatever your eyes see, but know that for all these things God will bring you to judgment.
    Ecclesiastes 11:9 NIV

  105. MK.TCK.Just.Me Avatar
    MK.TCK.Just.Me

    hi. so I read your blog and watched the video. getting your detailed explanations on some of those points does help understand what you’re trying to say. anyway, wasn’t sure if I was gonna comment on this, don’t even know if you’ll end up reading this or replying back. the only reason I ended up reading this is cuz a friend reposted this on fb. now, after saying all that…i’m obviously still gonna post my opinions (but will keep in mind what you said in the video)…

    #s: 4, 7, & 18 – no opinions here

    1. the video game thing.
    i personally used to play nintendo, sega, gameboys, and computer games once in a while from middle school to high school. i never got addicted to them and they never really kept my attention that long. my family owns a wii and i play games on that once in a while and i sometimes play games on fb, my mac, and on my iPhone, but I usually only do that when I need a break from working on projects or just to pass the time during different events, situations, etc. majority of the time tho, i get bored doing any of that after a few minutes. that said, one of my exes plays “video games” online but for him it’s to help him relax when he’s stressed from dealing with situations out of his control. and when he’s playing those games, he’s able to just breathe, clear his mind, and after a few minutes at the most he’s onto something else. i guess what I’m getting at is that while your point is for people who are glued to their games 24/7, there are people who do know how to keep it under control and have lives outside of video games and just play them as a way to relax or to just fill some time in between events or other stuff.

    2. the dating thing.
    while I agree on some stuff, I don’t agree on everything. in my case, me and my current ex were on and off for a while and maybe sometime in the future if and when God decides that it’s the right time for me and him to be together again, i know we’ll be dating for a while before taking the relationship serious again and hopefully set a wedding date. at this point we’re still close friends and he’s been my support system through everything i’ve gone thru. in my own opinion you can’t just tell people to stop dating if they’re not gonna set a wedding date at the end of it. in my own experience one person finds out a little sooner than the other who their soulmate is but can’t force the other to get married so that means having to play the waiting game until that person’s ready to get married. and breaking up will just cause regrets and heartbreak that can be avoided if the person is willing to be patient. (sorry if this doesn’t make sense). again, just my opinion. don’t have to agree with me.

    3. sleeping in.
    heard you loud and clear in the video. but just in case it’s not just me, some people just have a hard time sleeping earlier and waking up earlier. whether they’re night owls, insomniacs, or somewhere in between, it happens. and just like some people commented on here…the ones who work the graveyard shifts or the night shifts will obviously be sleeping in when they get home in the morning. in my case, i made some mistakes when I was younger that have just made me more awake at night and able to get more done from early afternoon to late at night than in the morning. i know i’m gonna have to change my sleeping habits soon cuz it’s screwing up my body and my brain, but that’s a whole other story.

    5, 6, & 11. the dream thing and the future prediction thing.
    i get it (i think), just having a hard time figuring out how to explain what my opposing opinion on this is. i guess what i’ll say is it’s really up to every individual if they want to dream big or just want to temporarily dream small until they’re ready for bigger dreams.

    8. looking for approval.
    i think that this is something that everyone is still learning not to do. but there are some people that just need that approval as a part of their life especially if they’ve been abused, hurt, bullied, etc. for the majority of their lives. when their self-image and self-confidence has been destroyed, that approval may just be one of the things they need as part of that positive reinforcement that might just help them keep moving forward. to some people that approval can be interpreted as them being loved, accepted, and the feeling that they belong somewhere or to someone who cares about them. i’m talking from experience.

    9 & 10. comparing self to others & the shopping thing.
    everyone does it whether they’ll admit it or not. it’s a flaw that is 2nd nature to everything else. it’s especially harder for people with mental disorders, etc. to stop doing that. not making excuses, just being honest.

    12 & 15. the work thing.
    was gonna comment on this, but i can just see #16 being thrown back at me, so never mind.

    17. the blame game.
    i understand taking responsibility for your own actions but what about if you’re getting blamed for stuff that is out of your control and that is not your fault?

    19. Being too busy.
    for people with mental disorders, etc. this is a coping skill that is encouraged to keep the negative thoughts out of their heads (i’m talking from experience). maybe being too busy is bad, but keeping busy is sometimes needed to get through the day, week, etc.

    #20. i’ve got an opinion on it but don’t know how to explain it.

    Bonus Point: living with parents thing.
    does this only apply to married couples or single people in their 20s too? i can tell you from experience as a currently single person who has tried to move out several times and failed each time, is having a hard time getting a job, and is financially broke – the only option is to live with the parentals until a job is found and secured and more than enough money has been saved to move out again.

    My final comments…

    it’s great that you care about young people, but 1. not everyone is a christian and will understand some of these points and 2. even being a young christian myself, I have a feeling i’m not the only one who is struggling to understand how to be the type of christian that God can be proud of, etc. so some of your points might be misinterpreted by some people christian or not.

    1. MK.TCK.Just.Me Avatar
      MK.TCK.Just.Me

      oops!! forgot to add 13 & 14 to the “no opinions” part.

      technically i do have a comment on #14, but I’ll probably get my head bit off for my comment, so never mind.

  106. Kim Long Vo Avatar
    Kim Long Vo

    There’s this game called Kerbal Space Program that I recently started
    playing and I’m learning about orbital mechanics from it. There are kids
    out there quite literally learning rocket science from a video game.

    Just imagine how many kids will start a career in the sciences because of games like this!

  107. GodsDaughter Avatar
    GodsDaughter

    I completely disagree with #6 and #7 and even #1. 6 and 7 are against everything that Christians are built on BELIEF and FAITH. How can a real Christian say don’t dream too big have you forgotten about Philippians 4:13
    ( “Through Christ I can do all things”) There is NOWAY someone can dream too big! And how can a goal be unrealistic—- it is never impossible for God to do something! What is the slaves thought its Unrealistic for blacks to acquire rights? or if people thought is unrealistic for planes to fly? or separating conjoined twins from the back of the head(which Dr Ben Carson did? someone thought these things were unrealistic but they were done with this help of God. and concerning #1 Playing videos games can be very stress revealing or a form of entertainment and there is nothing wrong with that, however playing video games to the point that it become obsessive and makes a person unproductive or addicted then maybe a break is needed….next time you make a post like this you really need to relate it to Doctrine since you say you are a pastor! God Bless.

  108. XanderJay Avatar
    XanderJay

    I think #1 is wrong. Video Games are a great way to connect with people thousands of miles away.

    I have internet friends and I have offline friends who may also be internet friends.

    I am able to communicate, play, and solve problems with my family who lives across the country.

    1. Sure sounds good – it may not be for everyone – but if you can redeem them, go ahead.

      1. XanderJay Avatar
        XanderJay

        You should have put “Watching TV” as #1,thats my rule.

        Because TV is totally useless, there nothing redeeming about it.

        One does not engage with the TV, one simply receives the sub/conscious messages from the TV.
        Even with new shows, it feels like a re-run.

        Turn off the TV.

  109. I really loved this post – and think there’s a lot to learn from what you have to say. We can’t really expect to agree with everything in an article unless it’s straight from the Word, right? But for the most part, these are great challenges to take on. Let’s not waste our lives 🙂

    1. Great, I am glad you enjoyed it!

  110. Bobby Pelkey Avatar
    Bobby Pelkey

    Twenty things people in their twenties should stop doing.

    1. Stop reading this article. You will be glad you did.

    and so on.

  111. There are a few good point, but on the same token some ridiculous ones, ones you would expect from a dumb religious person.

  112. The Truth Avatar
    The Truth

    You need to replace number 18 with “Believing in Santa Claus”.

    The one thing I learnt from this article is that the author is an idiot, and he’s since been told so very publicly and has ever since been trying to prove that he is in fact not an idiot.

    Well today is your day Bogdan, because here is the…

    Guide to not being a complete idiot your entire life:

    1. Don’t be a follower. Whether it be Jesus or anyone else, there is no substitute for well thought out original ideas. Nope, not even an article of advice so obviously from your Mum that you try to pass off as your own is going to work.

    Or if that guide is too conflicting, try…

    Guide to being Bogdan Kipko:

    1. Be a follower.

  113. Laihendi Avatar
    Laihendi

    Glad to know that enjoying yourself is a waste of time and there is absolutely nothing redemptive about it!

    1. Can you clarify what you mean by that?

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *