In the last post, we talked about how distorted filters corrupt our conversations. Our ultimate goal is to approach interactions from a place of grace. Only grace that is given to us freely from Jesus will enable us to build up instead of tear down.
How can we gauge practically the quality of our conversations? How can we tell if the words we are saying are helping or hurting other people? The following is a good list of questions to ask yourself personally. It will enable us to understand if our words are really bringing life or death into our conversations.
1. Do the words you say bring about peace and calm or do they create chaos and disorder? (Js. 3:15-17).
2. Does your talk have a “stand together” or a “me againsthim/her/them” posture?
3. Do your words encourage others to be open and honest about their thoughts and feelings?
4. Are you approachable and teachable or defensive and self-protective when talking with others?
5. Is your communication healthy in the principal relationships in your life?
- parent-child
- husband-wife
- extended family
- sibling relationships
- employer-employee
- friend-friend
- body of Christ
- neighbor-neighbor
6. Does your talk encourage faith and personal spiritual growth in those around you?
7. Do you talk with others to develop relationships with them, or do you only talk to solve problems during
times of trouble?
8. Do you speak humble and honest words of confession when you sin and words of sincere forgiveness when
others sin against you?
9. Do your words reflect a willingness to serve others or a demand that they serve you?
10. As you face the struggles of talk, do you do so with a recognition of the gospel—God’s forgiveness, his enabling
grace, and the sanctifying work of the Holy Spirit?
The above list of questions comes from a phenomenal resource analyzing the importance of words and how we use them.
Click here to view the source.
Question: What else would you add to the above list to determine whether your words are helping or hurting other people? What specifically are you doing in your life to make sure you speak wholesome words into the lives of people that surround you?






May God bless you and your blog! This topic is very relevant.
I think that first of all, you need a change of heart, because: “The good person out of the good treasure of his heart produces good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure produces evil, for out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.”(Luke 6:45)And only a changed heart that has love for Jesus and everyone else can follow the golden rule, “So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets.” (Matthew 7:12) Following this rule, your relationships and converstations will only serve to build up people around you.
Secondly, “Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.” (Phillipians 2:3) Having a reborn heart and following both these rules, your relationships with anybody in any given situation will be coming from a place of grace and will build up the people you talk to.
May God bless you abundantly. Loving you, Praying for you, Missing you, waiting for you. -Your Mom <3
Thank you mom – great thoughts as usual! Thank you for your prayers and support!